The Wedding Party
Awhile ago Bill Evers, younger brother of my childhood friend Sally, sent me a photo of the wedding party of a “Tom Thumb Wedding” in which I participated at the Shark River Hills Clubhouse - thus doubling my collection of photos from this event. (I’ve since acquired one more - all three are included here.) Bill remarked at the time that the concept of a mock wedding for children was foreign to him. I too think it odd - not only from my adult perspective, but I actually remember finding it difficult to wrap my brain around at the time. (Remind me, why are we doing this?)
So I did what I always do at such moments - googled - and found that the event was part of a tradition inspired by the real-life wedding of Charles Stratton, a dwarf who performed and traveled with PT Barnum as "General Tom Thumb", and Lavinia Warren, only a few inches taller than her groom. It is almost impossible to recapture the excitement generated by this event, which was probably the closest American equivalent to a royal wedding. Details about the bridal gown and trousseau were bruited about in the press, costly gifts were forwarded from around the world, and socialites vied (and paid) for invitations to the ceremony at Grace Episcopal Church in Manhattan on February 10, 1863. The wedding and its associated festivities provided a war-weary nation with a welcome respite. President and Mrs Lincoln themselves became involved, hosting a lavish reception in the diminutive couple's honor and inviting them to honeymoon in the White House.
Shortly thereafter, reenactments of the wedding started being staged by schools and churches all over the country, as youth activities and fund raisers, and also to teach children "values." The practice seems to die out from time to time, only to spring back into vogue. Even today, reports and photos of recent Tom Thumb weddings can be found in the press and online. (A modern twist: A gofundme site appealing for contributions to support a boy's candidacy for the role of groom!) Small children (usually under the age of ten) formed the cast, although sometimes the minister was played by an adult. In the one in which I participated, which took place on July 27, 1950, all the characters were played by children, minister included, with music provided by a couple of slightly older kids. Participation was maximized by including not only a full wedding party but also guests - prominent members of the community also impersonated by children.
So I did what I always do at such moments - googled - and found that the event was part of a tradition inspired by the real-life wedding of Charles Stratton, a dwarf who performed and traveled with PT Barnum as "General Tom Thumb", and Lavinia Warren, only a few inches taller than her groom. It is almost impossible to recapture the excitement generated by this event, which was probably the closest American equivalent to a royal wedding. Details about the bridal gown and trousseau were bruited about in the press, costly gifts were forwarded from around the world, and socialites vied (and paid) for invitations to the ceremony at Grace Episcopal Church in Manhattan on February 10, 1863. The wedding and its associated festivities provided a war-weary nation with a welcome respite. President and Mrs Lincoln themselves became involved, hosting a lavish reception in the diminutive couple's honor and inviting them to honeymoon in the White House.
Shortly thereafter, reenactments of the wedding started being staged by schools and churches all over the country, as youth activities and fund raisers, and also to teach children "values." The practice seems to die out from time to time, only to spring back into vogue. Even today, reports and photos of recent Tom Thumb weddings can be found in the press and online. (A modern twist: A gofundme site appealing for contributions to support a boy's candidacy for the role of groom!) Small children (usually under the age of ten) formed the cast, although sometimes the minister was played by an adult. In the one in which I participated, which took place on July 27, 1950, all the characters were played by children, minister included, with music provided by a couple of slightly older kids. Participation was maximized by including not only a full wedding party but also guests - prominent members of the community also impersonated by children.
Leslie and Cindy Stodola
I won’t say it wasn’t fun. My sister Leslie played a bridesmaid and I played Bill and Sally’s mom, Mary Jane. I think she supplied the silky navy blue dress I wore, heavily altered to fit a seven-year-old; possibly the hat was hers as well. I felt very dignified, though in retrospect I wonder what she made of her pint-sized doppelgänger, bedecked in her finery and tottering around in high heeled shoes that were several sizes too large. My “husband,” Jim Evers, was played by a boy named Eddie Jackson, whom I didn’t know very well and might not even remember except for that chance coupling (in which, by the way, no consent or choice was offered - all the decisions including casting were strictly top-down). The two of us appear side-by-side at the far right of the front row in the group photo of the wedding guests (below).
Did this spectacle provide anything beyond amusement for the participants and spectators? Did it instill an appreciation of commitment and responsibility? Did it help to prepare us for the adult world? Did the pomp and pageantry promote community spirit? Did it, on the other hand, encourage us to cling to a stereotyped set of middle-class mores and discourage openness to other life choices? Did these elaborate charades have the effect of reducing what is meant to be a solemn occasion to a circus sideshow?
According to historical novelist Melanie Benjamin, blogging in the Huffington Post, Lavinia Warren Stratton “never really knew how to view these staged weddings; were they tributes to her great love? Or mockeries?” If Lavinia herself was puzzled, I guess I can be excused for my own mixed feelings about the Tom Thumb wedding.
Did this spectacle provide anything beyond amusement for the participants and spectators? Did it instill an appreciation of commitment and responsibility? Did it help to prepare us for the adult world? Did the pomp and pageantry promote community spirit? Did it, on the other hand, encourage us to cling to a stereotyped set of middle-class mores and discourage openness to other life choices? Did these elaborate charades have the effect of reducing what is meant to be a solemn occasion to a circus sideshow?
According to historical novelist Melanie Benjamin, blogging in the Huffington Post, Lavinia Warren Stratton “never really knew how to view these staged weddings; were they tributes to her great love? Or mockeries?” If Lavinia herself was puzzled, I guess I can be excused for my own mixed feelings about the Tom Thumb wedding.
The Wedding Guests
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